I usually put my indie/alternative music playlist on to listen to, but today for some reason whilst I was making David’s vegan birthday cake (which turned out to be a disaster, but I’ll get back to that another day), I decided to shuffle and came across John Legend’s “All of me” and the memories just came flooding back.
It started on a cold winter evening in Melbourne. David and I just started our relationship so fights were pretty rare. Unlike now LOL. That particular evening, I forgot what it was about, probably something stupid (it’s always about something stupid) but we had a fight at my place, which resulted in him storming off, saying that he was going to go back to his place blah blah blah. I was used to this only because I had just gotten out of a relationship with a person who likes his “space” or “me-time”. I just thought, every guy is the same and history repeats itself. I mean, I’m probably not an easy person to be in a relationship with. I can be quite “aggressive”, the term David loves to use to describe me. But yes, I agree. I don’t like to lose, in anything. Arguments, games or life in general, so I fight to win, every single time. And that feeling of sweet victory… I can’t get enough of it! Personally I like to just keep arguing and arguing until we come into a conclusion that I’m satisfied with or if I feel like I have won. Omg I sound like a physco that needs friggin’ therapy. I’m a nice person I promise, and I’m probably more mellowed out now that I’m a mom. Maybe, maybe not. Therefore I understand if a guy I’m in a relationship with needs a break, or whatever it is, during arguments/fights. But it turns out, I was wrong.
I think David loved me more than I realised and he was more of an adult to be able to deal with what I have offered on the plate.
Anyway, after he left, we ended up in a call and he said that he was on a train going home. I said fine, whatever bish, even though secretly I was wishing he came back and apologize. (That’s the secret to your happiness, mark my words gentlemen.) A few minutes later, suddenly that particular John Legend’s song was playing on TV.
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down
What’s going on in that beautiful mind
I’m on your magical mystery ride
And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright
But I’m breathing fine
You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you
I thought to myself, I don’t remember the TV having been turned on at all. I went to look and it had my pictures then pictures of us together, it just kept going on a slideshow. I was trying to figure out how this was possible. I remembered that he connected his phone to control TV a couple months back. Is he screen-mirroring this? But wasn’t he on the train home? Or is this just an accident? If he was screen mirroring this, wouldn’t he be close by?
And I kid you not, like a scene straight out of a cheesy Korean drama, I ran outside, opened the door and found him looking all sad//guilty/content or something like that, with the short clip he made at the train station, and we embraced each other really tight, both of us crying and repeating the words that sounded like “we’ll never fight again”, “i love you”, “i’m sorry” et cetera, et cetera. We hugged for sometime and at that moment we meant what we said.
Well here we are, 6 years later, fighting pretty often, maybe around once a week or once every month, depending on my PMS or his. Oh yea, he has his moments too, especially when he is hangry. But you know, marriage has its ups and downs, one day I want to divorce him, but another day I feel like I can’t live without him.
It’s funny how some songs digs into the ventricles of your heart and make you feel things you might have forgotten.
I will dedicate this blog for you my love. It is 2.24am, and officially your birthday!
Happy birthday to my other half, who puts up with all my crap, strange fears and random emotional bursts. But I have to say, aren’t you lucky to have me in your life, it’s like you’re celebrating your birthday everyday! LOLLLL JK
I’m slightly delirious during the wee hours of the morning, so I’ll probably wake up and read this blog with a cringe..
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